p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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