mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
