how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
