Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
