I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
