So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
