i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
false alarm, still single
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
