Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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