my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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