Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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