I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
