people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
