how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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