Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
