We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
