But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
