So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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