shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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