After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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