It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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