...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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