CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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