my vag is so smooth its legendary
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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