Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
