Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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