Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Are my feet made of real feet?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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