After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
