she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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