we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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