the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
