my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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