just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
