I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
