I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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