dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sext me about skeletons
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
