I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
