She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
