I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
