everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
