i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
