Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
