he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize