I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
