he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Pooping to opera.
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