Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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