Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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