escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
