I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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