it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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