it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
