I just threw up on my dentist
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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