Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
