Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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