She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize