if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
