I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
