I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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