her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize