After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
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